Monday, June 1, 2009

Mother's Day, 2008

This piece was written last year for Mother's day. i think it adequately states how i feel about those who brought us into this world:

For tomorrow, I considered writing in The Democrat about Mothers and Mother’s Day for my column tomorrow.
But as my daughter, a mother for one year and fifteen days, said to me while we celebrated her motherhood (and grandson’s first birthday), I am a contrarian. I don’t have a great deal of passion about celebrating any legislated events.
My thoughts are also a bit too personal to broadcast through a daily newspaper. Yet I wanted to share my thoughts with a few special people.
I have been lucky in many things, jumping into some pretty big messes, or creating them, yet coming out on the back end in very good shape. I credit a large portion of that “luck” to mothers in my life.
Of course, my own mother is largely responsible for all of this. After all, if it weren’t for her and my father, I wouldn’t have amounted to very much. She fostered many good habits with stern discipline mixed warmly with love. I have profited most of my life from those lessons. Her and my father’s example on how to live life well continues through today.
My wife is an incredible mother. Her love, motherhood and grandmotherhood extend beyond our youngest daughter to her stepdaughter. There are no seams or lines between the latter two. They are mother and daughter. She also has given our youngest the example and the guidance reminiscent of my mother’s guidance to me.
I could not write about mothers and exclude the mother of our oldest daughter. Regardless of our differences, she and I have always tried to put the well-being of our daughter above our own needs and desires. I think I have done pretty well, but she has been remarkable in that sense, a wonderful mother for our daughter.
My current and former wives deserve special mention here as their understanding of motherhood requirements and their innate love of their daughters has given me much joy as we can all enjoy our nuclear family without animosity or recrimination. In fact, both mothers and both daughters are friends as well.
There are other mothers special to me. My aunts on both sides of our family always were as close to mothers to us as our own. My mother’s two sisters and my father’s sister gave me great joy while ensuring I observed my parents’ standards throughout their lives. My Aunt Bettye Kate, who had no children of her own, was my second mother period.
My sister and my sister-in-law continue to demonstrate those wonderful virtues of motherhood on par with my daughters’ mothers.
And then there is this very special mother, my daughter. She has blossomed into this incredible person, a mother dedicated to her son. She was always special in my mind, but becoming a mother has defined her and given her the freedom to be a special loving person.
The procession of mothers through which I am the link gives me faith the world is going to be all right. Mothers are the engine of living and loving well.
I wish to thank all of you even though I shun such orchestrated holidays.

May 11, 2008, Mother’s Day
Bonita, California

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